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Struggle is Real and I Need to Face it

I look at myself in the mirror and I look fine.

All is perfect about me except for the fact that sometimes, I feel that I still have to do more. I mean aside from doing my daily tasks, I get bored that I feel I have more idle time than most people. I feel useless. I feel that I am not productive enough. I feel that I do not exert enough effort on the things that I do.

So I fill my time with reading ebooks, watching K dramas, etc - the things I wanted to do when I was still working 9 hours a day on weekdays. 

I'm at a point where I think I've used all the time that I need after I stopped working from the corporate world. Sometimes, I feel the business will do well on its own that I think I need to resort to other things. So many things cross my mind. 

I work from home during weekdays. Weddings and events happen mostly on weekends. When my weekend is usually free, I spend time with family.

Sometimes I feel alone that I wanted to go back to office work and be an employee again. I miss having officemates around. My life now as an entrepreneur is so much different when I used to work corporate.


I Forgot Taking Care of Myself Should Be A Priority Too

I had a check up yesterday with an internal medicine doctor. I was with my mommy. She accompanied me because I have been suffering from gas pains, chest pain and a severe sore throat.

It turned out I have been suffering from it for 3 weeks already. I thought I was okay and the pain will go away eventually.

I was feeling of having indigestion. The food that I eat feels clogged at my chest and I want to throw up often. It was hard to breathe sometimes. I feel more dizzy and very tired. I didn't have fever so I really wouldn't know what was wrong with me. I notice that I burp many times than normal. The feeling got weird.

I felt scared and maybe got depressed too. I thought about how I can work when I'm sick. I didn't know how I would feel better. I wouldn't want to leave the house anymore. I seemed so nervous going out. I worry that I can pass out accidentally.


Our Pet Dogs Will Live Forever In My Heart

I would always write about something good or happy but this time it is different. I hope you brace yourself for this write-up. Forgive me for doing this.

It has been three weeks since our pet shih tzu Marley passed away.  She was 7 years old. About 2 weeks before that her mom Mandy passed away. She’s turning 9 this month. They both had cancer.

My life spent at home with them were the most fun and loving years. I can feel my tears as I’m writing this right now, you know. It breaks my heart every time I think about them. I miss them so much.

I heard it once. People say the things that bring you joy are the same things that bring you sadness. This is it.

I can only watch it in movies. Their pet dogs die and I cry like a river. I couldn’t imagine it happening to me or our family. Mandy and Marley have become our family. They have become our source of joy. I miss spending minutes turned to hours just playing and cuddling with them. More than an owner and pet relationship, I felt like an older sister to both of them. They were our babies.
This house has never been so quiet with them around. It has become their playground.  This has become their world including the people that live in it, our family.


Dreams Can Come True

I am not in competition with anyone. I only compete with myself so I can get better. I'd like to improve each time. I say this to myself.

I'd like to inspire people in what I do. Did you know I'm not a popular kid in school? I did not have the highest grades while in school. I just have passing grades then.

I nearly failed one of my subjects in high school though I study hard. You know how it is. Studying in one of the top exclusive all-girls school here in Philippines can be tough. Yet I graduated without repeating a year or any subjects. Maybe I'm just determined to study and blessed to be able to graduate in my school.

I tell you, you can be who you dream to be. You may not be the smartest person in class but what you strive for your future should tell you where you will be.

I used to work in sales real estate as my first job. This was like 8 years ago. My manager asked the team to present in front of everyone our personal goals and dreams (materially). My teammates shared they like to buy their own car, house, etc.


An Overnight Vacation in Subic Freeport Zone

Before I say something here, I just realized that I have been using the wrong URL in posting photos here in the blog. I apologize for the wrong info but it was just for proper tagging those who might steal my photos here. A lot of photos are mine and I personally took it. A credit to the blog is or should be to my credit ofcourse.

This is a late post since this travel happened December of last year where the family spent one night and two days in Subic Freeport Zone. Going around Subic won't be complete without visiting the outlet and surplus shops there. It is where my dad would never get tired looking for items to buy - some shoes, shirts or bags. He loves to shop more than anyone else in the family. It's so funny he would shop more than my mom, you know.

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